Gaydar - Do you have it?
Gaydar - you either have it or you don't. Well, not strictly true. Gaydar is simply profiling. Assessing the characteristics of someone's behaviour and predicting what they'll do next. Straight people are doing it every day! They just didn't take the initiative to give it a fun, snazzy name! We did, so let's activate yours!
Let's keep this simple though, so that we don't end up overthinking anything. No one is asking you to spot the nearest gay man within a 50 foot radius. Although, some will claim that they can! What you need to do is be able to recognise the signals, which everyone gives off. And here's where it really keeps things simple, whether gay or straight, the signals are exactly the same! Phew! We don't want to make life more difficult for ourselves than it already is, right?!
Some gay people will tell you that people who dress a certain way, style themselves in a certain way will give you all the information you need. That this is real gaydar. Perhaps. But, I find it best to avoid making a decision based on the way a person chooses to present themselves, particularly in this new, metrosexual time. The world is changing, gender and sexuality are becoming more fluid, less defined. That's why I think it's best to concentrate solely on a person's behaviour, to potentially avoid embarrassment or upset, to everyone involved.
Let's look at the basics. A lingering look from across the room. We intuitively know when someone is watching us, in the same way we know if we're in danger. The hairs on the back of our neck stand up. If you see someone watching you, and they don't immediately turn away when you catch their eye, you're probably in luck! Hold the look, for anything longer than a few seconds, and it's worth considering it more. If it finishes with a little smile, a coy smile, than you definitely have a chance. Shall we move a little closer?
Strike up a conversation. I normally find a compliment will go a long way to securing someone's initial interest. Not you have nice eyes! It's been done, move on! Have a look at what they're wearing. Maybe there's something that stands out for you a little? Nice shirt, nice shoes! Just pick something unique that doesn't sound like you're using the same line on everyone! Now, you're talking, let's start profiling.
Eye contact. It's so simple but so often, it is overlooked. If a person maintains eye contact with you, it shows genuine interest. Apply this basic notion to meeting someone you like for the first time. If they keep eye contact, and keep smiling, they are interested in you. When you recognise this, I think it's always worth flashing a cheeky grin. It will often be reciprocated, or provoke an even bigger smile from the person of interest. Even better.
The final thing to look out for would be personal contact. A light touch of the arm, graze of the leg. When you are talking to someone you are potentially interested in, there are no accidents! Being tactile, whether you have just met someone or known someone for years means the same thing. It is used to convey interest. Remember, no accidents! Don't overthink this and you could be on the verge of starting something great.
Once you have used this method once, you will be surprised how much more you will notice about the way people behave and the signals they give off. You will start to think about the things people say more too. But, language analysis is best saved for when we're a little more comfortable. All you need to know about whether someone is interested, you can determine from body language. Remember, don't overthink it. Just pay attention and trust your instincts.